All Wrapped Up

I don't remember being this tired on the last day of school ever. I'm hoping it's a sign of how busy the last week has been and not a sign of how old I'm getting. All the graduations did make for lots of late nights and the last two days were physically more demanding than most, with field day and moving all the classroom furniture into the hallway. I came home from the staff party and took a two hour nap. I could have fallen back asleep, but decided sleeping tonight was more important than feeling fully rested this evening.

I was so tired during the variety show yesterday that I had to get up and walk around about halfway through in order to keep myself from nodding off. And I love the variety show at this school.  There are some very talented kids who play instruments or sing every year. This year there was a first grade girl who sang with precision and technique, on key all the way through her song. There are also several silly skits and many classes do something that is open to every student who wants to join.  Parent involvement is high, but the best part is that everyone is well supported, cheered for, and made to feel like their performance was amazing. It takes a lot of courage to get up there without any real performance experience, but every year kids do and walk away with their confidence intact, or even boosted.

A parent and staff member leading preschoolers

in the Gummy Bear dance.

As busy as the last week of school was for me, my students wrapped up the year watching Duck Tales from the 1980s during any significant down time we had this last week.  By Tuesday they were asking to watch even when there was clearly not enough time to get through one 22 minute episode. By Thursday they came in singing the theme song and everyone sang along with it at the start of each new episode. I'll have to remember this for next year - it certainly kept the kids motivated to finish tasks or clean quietly in order to be able to watch even partial episodes.

So much fun to hear them all singing along.

I'm surprised that my emotional state has been pretty even. I felt some sense of loss when I read thank you cards written by the sixth graders made during one of their last social studies classes. Most cards did a great job of thanking me for something specific or referring to something I taught during the past four months. And walking through the hallways for the last time today, after I turned in my keys, produced some sadness. But as I was on my way to the staff party, it didn't last long.

I am so grateful I had the opportunity to return to this school and make a positive difference for the community during a very challenging circumstance. Several fifth graders and their families expressed disappointment that I won't be in the sixth grade homeroom position next year. Several families of students I taught this year expressed gratitude at my writing instruction and disappointment that I won't be continuing. The principal said she felt like she was going to cry when she said goodbye to me in front of the school. The whole experience has been very healing and confidence building for me.

I'm very excited about next year. I can't wait to get back into my own classroom and join a new team. It's going to be great.

The Last Week

This year I have four graduations to attend within the space of week. Three are eighth grade graduations for local Catholic schools where I have worked, and one is a high school graduation for my niece in the Portland area. The first graduation was on Thursday night, followed by a crazy drive south on Friday for the second one, in the midst of some intense spring rain, during heavy traffic, with a deadline to see my niece graduate. We made it, but just barely. Seriously - my brother in law has video of us cutting across the field just past the barrier meant to stop us seconds before the graduates walk out. Or so I'm told... I haven't actually seen the video. Today was the day after graduation number three, the day before graduation number four. So when a co-worker saw me after I took my turn in the center of carpool after school this afternoon, and told me I looked like I needed a nap, I wasn't offended, and I totally believed her.

Yesterday a new tradition was born at the school where I've been subbing since February. The graduating eighth graders sat facing the rest of the school while the principal read their favorite memories of each grade level. After each set of memories was read, current students from that grade came up and delivered a handmade gift to each eighth grader. Most of the building is getting new furniture next year, and the science teacher/7th grade homeroom teacher worked with her 2nd grade buddy class to decorate the lab stools that otherwise would have been thrown out. They gave the graduating class a survey of likes and dislikes and turned it into a poem read aloud to the whole school by the super cute, eight year old second graders, and incorporated into the decorations on the stools. I'm sure every student who ever sat on one of those stools but didn't get one is jealous that there weren't enough to go around. I'm a little jealous!

In the midst of all of the graduations and regular school duties plus end of the school year traditions, I am of course, trying to close out the school year in someone else's classroom. It's both harder and easier than closing out my own room. I want to make sure everything I'm putting away will be found again, and I'm not sure what I should throw away/recycle vs. file away. But I'm also taking back the mental mantle of "I'm just a sub" in a big way. It became necessary when I got an email telling me I needed to turn my keys in "by Friday." I literally laughed out loud when I read that. Friday is the last day of school. If I prioritize report cards and cumulative record cards, the room might not actually be ready before I've been told my keys to the building need to be out of my hands. I can do what I can do with the time I have left, and then I'll gladly hand over my keys. Sorry (not sorry) summer cleaning crew. Sorry (not sorry) next year's teacher.

I've exchanged personal contact information with the members of the middle school team I'm leaving and the staff there continue to express disappointment (and understanding) that I won't be returning next year. I've made plans to meet up with several former co-workers over the summer. I'm ready for next week when I get to sleep in and only have to worry about my boys, my house, my dog.

But I'm very excited for next year too. I've worked with the current middle school team for about four months, and know I have made an impact on them. Last night my former principal expressed a sincere interest in working with me again. I was also told by a teacher at my former school that I showed the teachers there "what kids are really capable of" and raised the bar for their teaching expectations.  (I'm pretty sure I'm going to be using that particular compliment to feed my soul for years to come.)  I love what I do, and apparently I'm pretty good at it.

That should sustain me through the final graduation, field day, the variety show, and moving desks out of classrooms on the last day, right?

Decisions, Decisions

I spent the weekend discerning where I want to be next school year. The recovery of the teacher I am currently subbing for continues, slow and steady. I was offered the position for which I interviewed last week. The call came on Thursday evening, and I asked for the weekend to decide. Going into the weekend I was convinced that staying put was the logical decision, but the emotional side of me wanted to strike out on a new adventure. I didn't understand the emotional pull.  Actually, I still don't understand it.

I went out to dinner with my husband on Friday night to talk without the kids overhearing the maybes and taking them as definitelys. I left the restaurant convinced I would accept the offer of the new position on Monday morning. But on Saturday morning, as I sat in front of my plan book trying to fit in the remaining lessons among the end of year schedule interruptions, my heart grew heavy at the idea of leaving the community for a second time. The emotional pull flipped to the school where I spent the majority of my career, and had (once upon a time) thought I would stay for the remainder of it. 

Throughout the application and interview process, I remained convinced that staying put, if possible, was the commonsense decision. I believed that "on paper" - if I were to make a list of pros and cons - the current school with the sub job would win. But the gut feeling that going somewhere new was the right choice had been there from the moment I read about the job opening at the new school. The flip in my gut feeling on Saturday morning made me decide to sit down and actually write out the pros and cons of each position. I knew that there really wasn't a "wrong" decision or a bad choice, but I had to make a decision. 

I turns out, I can't think of a single specific con related to the new position, just a bunch of unknowns. The biggest unknown is the principal, who has yet to be hired for next school year. I'm perfectly aware that the unknowns are rife with possibility for several cons, but they are also rife with possibility of at least as many pros. On paper, the new position won out. I was very surprised. 

I signed a contract for next school year at the new school today. The outgoing principal took me on a tour and I was able to at least shake hands with two of the teachers on the middle school team I am joining. I'm very excited for the new adventure ahead, but it is a little bittersweet. I got an email this morning that showed me the impact I've had on the kids I've been teaching for the past four months. When I told the members of my current middle school team I had accepted the offer at the other school, all of them expressed disappointment that I won't be there next school year. 

I expect my emotions will be on a bit of a roller coaster for the next week and half, until the last day of school. But somehow it all feels right. I am incredibly grateful I got to return to the school where I spent eight years teaching fifth grade with a great reception from students and families. I also learned that I love teaching middle schoolers to become more reflective readers and better writers. The past four months have healed an old wound and shown me a new side of myself as a teacher. I'm ready for the next chapter in my professional life.