Ground Rules for Interacting with Humans

In this unprecedented time of uncertainty, I feel like we should have a few ground rules for interacting with others, especially online. I'm  trying to codify them into ideas that can be presented to fourth graders for the coming school year and also ideas that I can try to live by myself. So when I hear the powers that be discussing reopening of schools and I want to shout, "Adults are required for schools to operate!" from the rooftops, I can instead fall back on some basic rules for processing ideas that make me cringe.

1. Assume Positive Intent.

In my heart of hearts, I know everyone wants life to get back to "normal" - the way it was before the novel corona virus interrupted. And that includes getting kids back in classrooms, five days per week for the entirety of a school day. Teachers want this as much as anyone. So when plans appear to overlook the myriad of adults that are required to report into a building where they will have anywhere from dozens to hundreds of close, prolonged contacts on a daily basis, I need to put on my "assume positive intent" glasses and recognize that the intent of these plans is to put normalcy back into the lives of children and families and those are good things.

On the flip side, I would prefer for people to stop saying negative things about teachers who are apprehensive about returning to work during a global pandemic. I have read that some think parents should get teachers' salaries for "homeschooling" their kids while teachers take a "vacation," that food delivery employees have been working this whole time and are doing just fine, that teachers knew what they were getting into as far as how germy children are when they went into their profession, and that grocery store workers are "braver" than teachers who are whining about returning to do their jobs. This actual list of negative comments is much longer, but the problem I have with these statements is I have trouble finding the positive intent in them. They make me want to point by point knock down the ideas they profess and send me into a spiral of negative thinking. The downward spiral of my own thinking is why I am choosing not to spend time actually defending myself as a teacher against these ideas. Instead, I am asking that those who have shared these ideas really try to think from the perspective of classroom teachers and other school employees and notice that there are many, many valid reasons for apprehension about what will happen when kids and adults go back into schoolhouses.

2. Listen for the Meaning in the Message.

Another way to say this is to listen for the positive intent. Sift through the statements and try to figure out what the other person means to say, not what you hear with your first knee-jerk reaction. I said I have a hard time finding the positive intent in the examples of negative messages I have come across recently. But if I take the time to reflect past my initial negative reactions, I can see that people who make and share these statements do in fact place a high value on getting kids back into classrooms. Their motivation might be different than mine, but it is definitely a positive that so many people are so motivated to get schools up and running again, and see school as an essential part of family life. As an educator, it's heartening that closed schools are a cause for massive concern among Americans.

If you just can't find the positive intent there are two actions you should attempt before walking away in disgust, or worse, throwing your knee-jerk negativity back at the other person. The first is to take the time to reflect on the intent of their message beyond your initial, upset reaction. It's not fun because it requires that you think about an upsetting idea for longer than an instant, and because it does mean admitting your initial reaction was not entirely correct. But self-reflection and an ability to admit when you are (gasp) wrong, are signs of maturity and intellect. The other step you can take is to ask questions for clarification. This can be tricky because tone of voice and word choice can make or break the outcome of discourse on an inflammatory, divisive topic. When the discourse is online it's even harder because tone can easily be misinterpreted. But if you truly are doing your best to assume positive intent, it is worth trying to dig a little deeper into upsetting ideas until you find the positive intent within the message.

3. Make an Informed Decision.

We all have our own opinions on every important issue of the day. But where did these opinions spring from? Are they the opinions of our parents or community? Do your own research on the issues and whenever possible get some primary source information. Before you opine on the Confederate flag, read the secession documents from the states that flew it during the Civil War. Before you choose an option for your kids returning to school look at data from your area and listen to doctors and educators in your area, preferably ones you already know and trust.

Making and informed decision is not a quick process. It requires you to do some leg work of your own, rather than clicking on links provided by others who are trying to persuade you to their line of thinking. You should look at ideas from sources across political, racial, and economic spectrums with an open mind, being willing to learn and change your own opinion should you run into new information from a reliable source.

When done correctly, researching not only allows you to come to your own conclusions, it has the added benefit of showing you that whatever the issue is, there are many more than two sides. There are lots of possible positions to take on any issue that stirs up emotions, and the decision you come to for yourself is unlikely to be the "right fit" for others. Parents of toddlers and preschoolers have a different set of concerns than those of elementary kids, and parents of high schoolers have yet another set of factors to consider. My kids are teenagers, one has just graduated from high school and the other will be entering into his sophomore year. I can trust them to take care of their own needs with just a few check ins throughout the day. The child care aspect of school is not an issue for me, but it is for my neighbors who have three kids under the age of seven. My decisions about the coming school year will have to fit the parameters of my life, and I should not try to impose my choices on someone who has an entirely different set of circumstances to consider.

4. Take Time for Self-Care.

When the world is spinning in directions not of your choosing and so many things are out of your control, take time to control the things you can. Figure out what calms you down and make time to do it. For one of my kids we figured out years ago that if we saw a behavior escalation coming on, it was time to suggest a long, hot shower. We had to let go of our worries about water consumption because it really did the trick of giving our child time to think and reflect and come back into conversation with a calmer demeanor. My other kid needs to walk away and read. After diving into a fictional world for an hour or so, he is ready to think a little more calmly about the real world. I need to write. I journal, blog, write letters, stories or poems, most of which are never viewed by the public.  But I always have one or two little notebooks in my purse at the ready. Everyone in your family will likely have a different calming activity. Self care options are as varied as people. What calms one person's "triggers" might serve to spin someone else up.

From my time as a foster parent I know that it's important to identify and mitigate triggers to negative behaviors or thinking. But in order to do effective mitigation, you have to know what calms you down. Figure out your own personal method, but recognize that there are also universal needs to consider. When every option irritates me and I can't seem to think beyond that irritation, I probably need to eat or sleep. I have been known to go to bed mad at someone or something, and wake up with an entirely new outlook on the situation. My own child is generally obnoxious if she doesn't get a hit of protein throughout the day. Adequate sleep and proper nutrition are the cornerstones for everyone's self care.  Once basic needs are adequately addressed, figure out a simple activity or two that calms you and do everything you can to build them into your daily routine. Making a habit out of activities that fill your soul means that you might be able to fall back on it without someone suggesting it to you. And if a loved one does suggest it, you will be less likely to bite their head off for expressing care and concern.

Good luck with the hard decisions coming your way this fall. Most of us are picking among options that all seem like bad choices. Finding the least bad option in the bunch is stressful and anxiety provoking, but it doesn't have to cost you friends or create tension within your family.

Thoughts About the Coming School Year

I can't pretend to know what this fall will bring. I do know that my (private) school is planning to start in person and on time unless they are told they can't. It's why I was hired - to ensure class sizes will be reduced to the point that six feet of distance is possible between students when they are seated in their desks. I want to work this fall. I want to be in a classroom with students, teaching. I know my own child learned very little in the distance learning that occurred in the spring. I know my own students learned less starting in March, and those that were not self-motivated learned a lot less. 

My students were equipped with the devices and bandwidth needed for distance learning. I did my best to create engaging lessons, spending hours vetting video clips and creating web quests that met minimum learning targets. I tweaked my end of the year activities and felt like I did a decent job of getting my eighth graders ready for high school. I was told by parents that their kids said things like, "It's just like being at real school," and that their kids were engaged by the content I was providing. But I also knew that we didn't get to the final project I had planned for ELA and I didn't dive deeply into the final history unit (The Civil War and Reconstruction) or have time to address the lessons for today, especially in light of the Black Lives Matter protests that erupted at the end of the year.

I'm switching schools, not because I chose to, and moving to a new grade level. I'm really excited about the upcoming year for lots of reasons. I know and love the community and they know and love me back. (As evidenced by how I was received when I went in last week.) If we need to start remotely, I won't feel like an outsider among the staff. I won't know my students, but that would be mostly true even if I wasn't switching schools. I am grateful to have a job for fall, and ecstatic that it's in a place I know and feel welcomed.

My plan book came in the mail today.

But, we won't be sending our high schooler to school in person this fall. His school district has not announced their plans yet, but we already know that a daily (or multiple times per week) bus ride and in person instruction is not something we will sign him up for. Every fall of his entire schooling life he has ended up sick, with a fever among his symptoms for long enough that he has missed up to two weeks of school. We can't, in good conscience, send him out into the classroom, knowing that he will end up needing a COVID-19 test within weeks of returning to school.

And that leaves me in a strange place. The community college my oldest will be attending announced several weeks (months? who can remember timelines during a pandemic?) ago that they will be starting online only for the fall term. My husband was working on a project that would shift many employees, including himself, to working from home more often than not before the pandemic struck. He's now allowed back in his office every other week, but no one is required back in before December, and the long range plan is for his team to be working from home almost exclusively going forward.

When the school year rolls around again, I will be the only person in my household required to leave the house and report into a specific location. It makes me think of the meme of the politician saying that if stores can be open schools need to be open, and the other pane saying, "I don't always go to (insert store), but when I do it's not five days in a row for seven hours at a time." Yeah, um, try eight or nine hours on any given work day, historically speaking. And I know teachers who go in on weekends regularly and/or stay in the building for more hours than I do on a regular basis. 

Almost every (Every?) industry that can hold meetings online is doing so. Kids have been more effectively quarantined than adults since the middle of March when their activities were all cancelled. Opening schools based on data collected while activities for kids were cancelled seems extremely risky. Not even considering any personal risk I might be taking, how can we be considering the risk to children in our schools? I was a long term sub three years ago for one of the kids who got the mysterious inflammatory illness linked to COVID-19. It hit me pretty hard when I saw his face on the local news. How much harder would it hit to have a student die from this pandemic?

Coming Back

I went back to the building where I was re-hired for the first time today. I had signed my contract via DocuSign but needed to go into the building to get my keys and new school computer. I had expressed interest in looking at the curricular materials before school starts and my team, curriculum director, and principal all suggested Zoom meetings. My home computer seems to have difficulty staying connected to Zoom for any length of time, so I asked for a computer from the school in advance of any online meeting.

It was awesome to see the front office and facilities staff. Both the office manager and financial manager asked if they could give me a hug if they put on their masks. The development director who was hired after I left said she had heard amazing things about me. The principal told me the priest said the school lucked out getting me back. Given how undervalued I felt after the previous school not only decided to let me go before the uncertainty of COVID-19, but declined an offer from my partner teacher and I to both go part time, it made my day. Heck, it made my summer.

I'm back on the staff email distribution list with my old account recovered. I had over 2,000 email messages, about half of which I had read but never deleted while I actually worked for the school, and the rest from not being taken off the email distribution list for over a year after I left mixed in with marketing emails from companies that I had given my work email to for one reason or another. The thousand or so messages that were marked as read were a walk down memory lane. I hadn't deleted (or at least moved to a folder) emails that I thought I might have to deal with again... so that meant lots of emails from a select few families. I started out re-reading a few before I realized that was a rabbit hole I did not need to go down, and just started deleting.

Before I left today, I walked from the office down the hall to the room that will be mine in the fall. It is currently the middle school science lab, even though it is surrounded by third and fourth grade classrooms. It is the correct location for a second fourth grade classroom, but it is stuffed full of science supplies in storage that makes sense for beakers, test tubes, magnifying lenses, and the like, but not really for regular classroom supplies. It also has a long counter cutting part of the space off from student use, creating a teacher space, with two sinks and additional storage. The facilities guy is fairly certain the plumbing below will not be quick or easy to deal with, but the principal was hoping to move the counters and sinks to the middle school end of the building. After talking through the move with me and the facilities manager, I think the decision was made to leave the counters and sinks and move a wall of metal storage cabinets instead. This will involve painting before September, but not dealing with exposed plumbing. Other storage will remain in my room, but hopefully enough will be moved that the science teacher won't have to be in and out of my room regularly to collect supplies for her classes. And I get to keep the sinks!

The school is planning for an all in-person start to the school year. That is why I was hired - so class sizes could be small enough to accommodate six feet of space between students. But the principal sent out a survey this week asking for staff input about opening in the fall. He asked for our thoughts on students wearing masks: Should the preschoolers be asked to comply with wearing masks like the older kids? During which activities might it be permissible for students to remove their masks? He also asked about our comfort level returning to the building (which will strive to be in compliance with the complete list of CDC recommendations) and gave us space to write any additional concerns or comments. 

This fall is going to be an adventure. Who knows how it will shake out? Whatever happens, I know I am extremely grateful that I will be living through this as a member of a caring community where I feel valued and heard.

Outdoor Environmental Education with 
St. Luke 5th Graders in 2016

Conference in 2016 with the science
teacher whose room I'm moving into.

Let Summer Begin

Here in the Pacific Northwest people like to say that summer weather does not officially begin until July 5. In recent years this hasn't been exactly true, but this year "June-uary" reared its head and there were many days where it didn't feel warm enough to let Esmerelda wander around in the backyard.

Aside from the sunshine of yesterday afternoon and the promise of sunny weather today, I also accepted a fourth grade position last week. Knowing where I have landed for the coming school year has enabled my thoughts to shift into summer mode. I can't plan for the coming year quite as I normally would, given that we are still in the middle of a pandemic and all, but I know the building, I know most of the other teachers, and I know my principal. 

I'm going back to the school where I worked while my husband and I became licensed foster parents and took in a sibling set we thought we were going to adopt. I left the school to stay home, but as the foster placement fell apart, I returned to teaching. Ironically, I subbed for a month in the classroom I had just vacated because the person who was hired to replace me left just as the school went on Christmas break. The principal asked me to come back to finish the year, and I probably could have just returned to the position with an understanding of continuing for years to come, but I declined because we were still thinking we were going to adopt one of the siblings. By the time that fell apart, my fifth grade position was no longer on the table, and I found a long term sub position in middle school English Language Arts. 

Although I have spent the last two and a half school years teaching middle school humanities classes (6-8th grade ELA and 8th grade history), I did get my start in teaching with four years in third grade followed by eleven years in fifth grade. Fourth grade is the only grade 3-8 I haven't taught, but 15 of my 17 years in a classroom have been in the two grades adjacent to it. It's a little poetic justice that I'm going back down the grade levels to teach it now. But it will be a shift in mindset from the older students I have been teaching recently. 

Thinking about current events is my biggest mental hurdle. What is an appropriate level of depth for some nine and ten year-olds is too much (or not enough) for others.  Throw in the possibility of remote learning due to the pandemic, and there are topics that just seem like a bad idea to dive into when you are not in person to be able to gauge student reaction in real time in order to adjust or direct the flow of the discussion.  

I'm also only guaranteed this position for one year. The school has reduced class sizes in order to maintain the six feet of physical distance currently required between students. Throw in the inability to have shared resources among students, and I think most of the boxes from my previous classroom are just going to have to stay home. And, I could very well find myself in the thick of a job hunt again next spring. That's a depressing thought, so I'm doing my best to push it away, and enjoy hanging out in my yard when the weather's nice.