Long Term Subbing

I started the calendar year back in my old classroom, my old space. Only it wasn't my space. Someone else had been in the room for four months, and left under less than desirable, less than normal circumstances. The outgoing teacher was out sick on the Thursday and Friday before the winter break. I know the sub who was in for her - she's amazing - but the room felt trashed: All kinds of paper stacks all over the room. A very large stack of ungraded work. Teacher's manuals in different locations all over the room. Barebones bulletin boards, and the set of posters collected by myself and the teacher who had the room before me, for 30 years, GONE.

I'm just a sub in for the month. I am a stop-gap. A short term solution. A band-aid for a very bad situation. Whatever the parent community thought of the outgoing teacher before I got there, I have heard nothing positive. It's understandable - they are angry and nervous. Their ten and eleven year olds will have had to learn the teaching style and expectations of three fifth grade teachers by the end of January.  The "real" new teacher begins Wednesday, but I'm staying on until February 2 in order to allow for a much more smooth second transition.

I've had a lot more fun than I expected. It's been overwhelming too, but every time I begin to worry about all the work, I've been able to remind myself that I'm not there for the remainder of the year. I'm just a sub. I get to have fun with the kids and do something I like and I'm good at, while trying to help further the education of twenty young people. I'm not attending meetings and cutting out as early as I can to get home to my kids... and there's been a lot going on there.

But I'm also relieved.  I get to do what I do for a month. The new teacher has already been hired, and I get to work with her - a much more seasoned teacher who has also been a principal - for two and a half weeks before I go back to being a stay at home mom who works on writing in any spare time I find.  I know I need to spend some time finding me again. I am a teacher. I am a mom. I am a wife. I like who I am. It's a good start, but I am not grounded right now. Hopefully writing will help with that.