Zoom Conferences

We held spring conferences via Zoom again this spring. The end of the mask mandate made the admin team at my school skittish about inviting all the parents of all the kids into the building over a two-day period. After my recent seven-day illness, where I napped for five to six hours a day and slept for twelve or more hours per night EVERY day for a week, I am glad for the decision.

Last week I made it to Tuesday before missing five consecutive workdays. I returned for the last day before two days of conferencing over Zoom. I was concerned that my students would not be prepared for conferences because they had to start their conference prep with a sub, and I didn't have time to meet with any students individually while trying figure what had and hadn't happened in my classroom during the two partial weeks I missed.

However, I needn't have worried. My students are confident and articulate when presenting. Their self-ratings and goals were thoughtful and reflective. Some parents expressed surprise to learn that there had been no coaching from me on the presentations. Even the student who has been traveling this week with her mom and was not able to do any preparation before her conference, was able to talk about her successes and struggles with specificity and set goals to meet before she becomes a fifth grader (all while sitting on a beach with sunglasses on and palm trees and blue skies in the background).

I love conferencing with students and their families. In my first few years of teaching, they were intimidating and anxiety-provoking. But I've reached a point where I have to do almost no preparation outside of preparing my students to lead their conferences (and the slideshow templates I've created for Zoom conferences thanks to COVID make that part ridiculously easy), and no longer have anxiety about talking to families about their student's successes, challenges, and goals. In fact, I look forward to it. As I ended my longest run of conferences (eight in a row), I commented to my husband, "So much smiling!" It's a good problem to have.

Day two of conferences featured a strange strobe effect on my work computer where the laptop screen would literally flash repeatedly and then stop. It happened while I was browsing files, on Zooms, and while I was doing other things, ignoring the computer completely. Thankfully this did not transfer to the monitor I had all my windows open on, but even checking the display configuration made no difference.

The flashing laptop screen in my peripheral vision was a major distraction during the first four conferences of the day and became more difficult to ignore as it increased in frequency. But as my fifth conference of the day started, my audio settings went haywire. The external speaker stopped working, and the only audio I could get was very, very faint through the laptop speaker. I literally spent the conference with my laptop on my shoulder just so I could hear what the student and parent were saying. At least the screen strobe effect didn't bother me with the laptop screen angled over the top of my head.

In a brilliant trouble shooting maneuver, I shut my computer down and walked away for lunch. Magically, turning it off and back on resolved the quirky issues of the morning, and allowed my final conferences to run smoothly.

Well over half of my families paused at either the start of end of the conference to ask how I'm feeling and express how glad they are that I'm feeling better. Every family of a student who is new to the building this year, one new this calendar year, told me that the rigor at my school and my expectations are much higher than they had experienced in their previous school. But every family was grateful for the change. One set of parents said they didn't realize what their child should have been learning in third grade. Two told me they felt blessed that their child was in my class. But the highlight of my spring conferences was the moment where one of these families began by saying, "Thank you for being you," and then proceeded to credit me with reigniting their child's passion for and joy in learning.

Have I mentioned how much I love conferences?

Sick Days

 Tuesday was a fairly normal day at school. The principal gave us time to work on our report cards rather than attend a staff meeting. This was despite the fact that the principal, on the advice of the admin team, had already decided that due to the timing of report cards and spring conferences (spring conferences are Thursday and Friday of next week and report cards go home the following Monday) we don't need to write comments on our report cards for this term. 

I used the time to prepare to run my regional teacher meeting, which happened to be on the same afternoon. The regional meeting went well. The teachers in my region brought friends who may be interested in joining the program next year, and were full of great ideas for the requested "big idea" list. I even remembered to locate the code so that those who attended could claim a clock hour for their time. I was feeling pretty good. It's not every day I get to offer other teachers credit for spending their time listening to me talk.

I came home intending to score all the late work that had been submitted that day and the one additional assignment that had been turned in... after all, it is report card week. But when I got home I felt more tired than expected. I created my slides for the following day and decided it wouldn't hurt to put off the grading for one night.

I woke myself up in the middle of the night, coughing. I tossed and turned, looking for a comfortable position that wouldn't allow my nasal drip to end up on the pillow nor aggravate my sore throat or developing headache. Gradually I became aware that I should not attempt to go into work on Wednesday with that many symptoms keeping me awake.

I roused myself and made my way downstairs where I took an antigen test. Negative. I still put in for a sub and spent over an hour writing a document to go with my slideshow and locating digital versions of everything that would need to be copied. I sent an email to my principal and the school secretary after 2:00am telling them about my symptoms, negative antigen test, that I was planning to try to sleep it off the next day, and expressing hope of seeing them on Thursday. Working on sub plans while sick in the middle of the night is absolutely no fun. But I'd rather there be some possibility of my students' learning staying on track without me than none at all.

I woke up when my husband's first meeting of the morning started. He still works from home thanks to the pandemic. His first meeting started at 8:00. I got up and showered, thinking I'd tackle the papers I had neglected the night before. However, when I made my way into his office, across the hall from our bedroom, the twin bed in there suddenly looked like the most comfortable spot on the planet. I was on my way back to sleep when another meeting started and his boss' voice jarred me awake again. I found my way downstairs, and made myself some tea and toast. Then I fell asleep on the couch until my husband came downstairs to make lunch. After eating soup for lunch I slept some more. 

About 2:30 in the afternoon I called my school. When the secretary answered, I said, "Hi, this is Natalie." She said "Uh-oh! It doesn't sound like you slept it off!" Another day off. Although it was easier to create sub plans at two in the afternoon than at two in the morning, working on sub plans while exhausted and in desperate need of a nap (even though napping is all I had done all day) meant the task took about two hours, maybe longer. But it was for a good cause - I could sleep again all the next day.

Only on Wednesday I could not sleep at all. The neighbors had four trees removed beginning at 8:00am. There were loud mechanical noises - engines, chainsaws, I don't know what - until about 3:00pm. It was loud enough to rattle my windows. About 2:00pm the secretary called me to find out how I was doing. I was dizzy with lack of sleep. We decided that if not being able to nap made me dizzy, I shouldn't try to push through the crud to spend the day in my classroom on Friday. It took another two hours to create sub plans. How much was due to dizziness and how much due to the heavy machinery running on my cul-de-sac, who can say?

So here we are. Friday. I haven't been in my room since Tuesday. I napped less today than Wednesday and had enough energy to type this up. But I'm still coughing, still napped after waking up late, and still overly-tired. Maybe the first antigen test was wrong? 

It feels weird to have missed three days. I can't say that I haven't been sick since the pandemic started. I have taken at least a handful of COVID tests, not including at least two when I had to drive somewhere to have medical staff perform them. And since at-home antigen tests have been available, I've kept a stash in my house for any time I've felt a little tickle in my throat or had a headache. I'm a hypochondriac that way. Every one of them has come back negative. But since the start of the pandemic, this is the first time I had to opt myself out of my regularly scheduled life to just sleep.

My amazing teacher friends have made copies for me and one even brought me all the work students have turned in this week... even though I live 10 miles north of the school, in the heavy traffic direction. Since it's report card week and conference prep week, I feel like it's important to try to catch up on grading this weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to stay awake long enough to get the work done.

Wise One?

Twice this week I have been addressed as "Wise One" by a co-worker. Actually, the first time it happened it was my principal, turned partner teacher, who strode into my room and said, "Okay, Wise One.." and proceeded to ask me a procedure question. I don't even remember what he asked. But I had an answer that he liked, so in that moment I lived up to his vision of me as wise. The second time was in a text thread, that I didn't see until the question had been answered by a fellow "Wise One."

How wise am I though, really? These days I feel like I'm just barely keeping my head above water. Having my boss as a partner teacher is... interesting. It's great to have his energy and know he really knows what it's like to be "in the trenches," really sees the work that goes into doing what I do. But it's still less than ideal. As thin as I feel stretched, he is stretched even more. I mean, he's holding down two full time jobs that are both notoriously MORE than full time jobs. Before and after school there is literally a line of people waiting for his attention.

This means he has no time for lesson plans. So, when I put my slides together for tomorrow's lessons, I have been making a copy and tweaking them for my boss to use. I tweak the schedule slide so his specialist class of the day is on the list instead of mine. I remove my bitmoji - but really, I've just been building without my bitmoji more and more so that I can skip this step. I delete the math and reading slides after the one that introduces the topic and switch out the spelling slide for the one I used on the corresponding day last week. (When my partner teacher left, she was one week behind me in spelling, so the homeroom my principal is teaching is still one week behind.) Admittedly, now that I know what needs to be done, this all takes less than five minutes. But when I am teaching and run across a typo on my slides, I am embarrassed spend more time wondering if my boss noticed than is probably warranted.

Every morning I go into the classroom across the hall and bring up the copied slide show on the SmartBoard. I leave copies on the teacher's desk, and on Fridays, put together a tray of supplies for the art project. I feel responsible for the progress toward meeting academic standards for two homerooms. On some level I know my boss would disagree - he is the adult in the room across the hall. But he is using my lesson materials.

The past two weeks with my boss as my partner teacher definitely have me feeling less than wise. Instead, I am seeing many areas where I could grow and do better. 

For example - how can I really embed my math and religion lessons into our IB units of inquiry? I've spent this year tweaking writing and reading to fit within the units. But I have not spent any time at all working toward enveloping the math and religion standards into the transdisciplinary units. 

On a lower level of overall importance, but an extremely practical one for every day - how do you really get kids to understand that there is a correct way to use a piece of binder paper? By high school I think most kids know the holes go on the left and the margin lines have a purpose. But kids do not know this innately, they have to be taught. I have a couple of kids who, despite my best efforts this year, still don't seem to understand.

I know my principal knows I'm good at what I do, and I know he's not looking for mistakes or problems in what I produce. However, it does add a heightened level of attention to detail to know he is not only seeing, but actively using my slide presentation every day and relying on my expertise to answer questions about procedure, daily lesson plans, long term unit plans, student background... and anything else relevant to the day-to-day operation of a classroom.

The silver lining in all of this goes back to a thought I had on repeat in my brain during my first year of teaching: "If I ever feel like I know everything there is to know about this job, that's when it will be time to get out." I'm still a long way away from feeling like I know everything there is to know. That's fantastic because I'm not ready to get out of the teaching profession yet.

Atypical Week

 We have staff prayer every Friday morning before school. Each teacher and staff member signs up for one week where they host the prayer in their classroom, lead the prayer, and provide a breakfast treat. This morning one of the kindergarten teachers hosted. She started with an activity where she asked everyone to write down the reason(s) they became a teacher or decided to work in a school. When we were done she shared that many years ago someone had her write down her reasons for becoming a teacher. She has kept that paper and it has brought her joy throughout the years - a reminder of why she got into this profession and a source of inspiration to get through the tough times.

It was timely for me. Spending a few moments focusing on the WHY of what I do was the perfect way to start my day. Whenever anyone has asked me why I became a teacher, I have always cited Jason, my foster brother that attended kindergarten with me. Jason lived with my family for five months, at most. But somehow his presence in my childhood had a huge hand in shaping who I became as an adult. Jason is why I became a teacher. Jason is why I was a foster parent and am heartbroken that I was not able to adopt.

Last week was nutso. That's already been established. This week was... atypical. Monday was Valentine's Day. My husband put a vase of roses on the kitchen table while I was in the shower. That evening we ate leftovers for dinner, while our new cleaning lady was *still* cleaning our upstairs. We felt bad for her, having to work so late on our dust and clutter on Valentine's Day... but eventually had to eat while she was still working.

On Tuesday, as the end of the school day and the first of my three overlapping meetings was approaching, I felt a migraine coming on. Generally, my migraines result from dehydration or poor nutrition. But I knew Tuesday was going to be crazy, so I had paid careful attention to my food and water intake throughout the day. I mentioned to my co-workers as we were coming in from carpool that I would need ibuprofen before our meeting because I felt a migraine coming on. One offered to bring Excedrin to me at the meeting. When I arrived, stopping after carpool only to remove my coat and use the restroom, I was distressed to see there was nowhere near the door for me to sit. Knowing I'd have to duck out early, I was not happy about having to slink to the back of the room. My friend brought me the Excedrin, which I took before going to a different co-worker to ask if she could take over the Zoom breakout room in my second meeting in case I had to leave for my third meeting before the breakout session ended. She told me our principal had told her to skip the second meeting. I walked to the space in the back of the room where I had set my stuff and started crying. Fortunately, she noticed and basically escorted me out of the meeting.

After settling me into my chair and listening to me vent for a bit, my friend returned to the staff meeting. I was not functional enough for that. I drank a liter of water and attempted to sort student papers. Half an hour later, I was still not very functional, so I chased the Excedrin with ibuprofen and drank another liter of water. This was enough to kick the migraine down low enough for me to attend the Zoom meeting. I ran my breakout room and pitched my friend's book. As soon as I was done pitching my friend's book, I gathered up and walked down the hall to the interview.

Also throughout the week the fourth graders were planning ways to show my partner teacher their love. They created a memory book that included pictures they asked the principal to take during recess time. They brought clipboards, handmade cards, and coloring supplies to the playground and made sure every fourth grader signed a card. Today, my homeroom students made her cards, and after lunch recess we trooped across the hall to deliver them, and share Krispy Kremes brought in to celebrate a student's birthday.

Just in case this wasn't quite enough, sometime this week we had a COVID positive case in our grade level. The email came mid-week, and students in both homerooms believe it to be a student in the other room. Since many schools have mid-winter breaks that stretch beyond the one day my school has off for President's Day, lots of families are traveling, leaving attendance spotty in both classrooms.

This afternoon the interviewee from Tuesday came to teach a lesson in my classroom, and we interviewed another candidate after school. This schedule had me unavailable to say goodbye to my partner teacher. I have mixed feelings about that. She walked out of the building for the last time while I was interviewing her potential replacement.

I finally found time to open my Valentine cards from my students tonight. I may have come into teaching because of Jason, my foster brother, but my students keep me coming back for more year after year.

I don't know what next week will bring, but I do know my husband is doing what he can to help me relax during these high stress times. He's taking me away for a couple of nights on this long weekend. We booked the trip on Monday night, as we ate our leftovers and tried not to feel guilty as someone else vacuumed and scrubbed our home. We'll be a few hours away from home, spending time together that we just haven't had in the past couple of weeks. 

No matter what next week brings, I know I have amazing support. My husband, my co-workers, and my principal are all willing to jump in and do what it takes to keep me sane! I am grateful for all of them.

Weird Week

This week was nutso. 

On Sunday I hopped in the car of someone I'd never met before, but whose name I knew, and let her drive me 3.5 hours to a little tourist town on the peninsula. We spent three days at the only Catholic school in that area as part of a four member (three members from our Archdiocese + an out of state chair) visiting team. We were tasked with writing a report of findings to affirm the self-study the school had conducted on its own and recommend a term of accreditation to the multi-state accrediting body that all of our schools belong to.

I love the accrediting process. I volunteer for visiting committees any time I am offered the opportunity. This time around I was "required" to be a part of a team. Most people think I'm crazy for loving the process. But I get to travel for work and am treated like a professional. Many teachers don't have the experience of a work trip complete with a paid hotel room, SWAG, and lots of free food. I also get to write a report (I do love to write) while discovering new ideas for my own classroom. What's not to like?

Okay, it is a crazy ton of work. As I was climbing into the car of a principal who lives fairly close to me and teaches at the Archdiocesan school closest to my own (which is not close to where we live) my husband called out, "Have fun on your vacation from work where you have to work!" On my first two accreditation teams, I ended up with a migraine. I didn't pay attention to my food and water intake as I observed classrooms and stared at a screen attempting to put words to my observations... and yet I still learned to love the process. Okay, it is a little crazy that I love the process.

This time around I was worried about the small size of the team. I was concerned that one of us would end up with COVID and couldn't figure out how the team would finish the job with only three members. My previous teams have always had at least six members. But our little team functioned incredibly well. The chair was super organized and kept us on task. And we were all healthy, active participants in the process.

The biggest snag was waking up on Tuesday morning to a text from my partner teacher telling me she had given two weeks' notice on Monday night to our principal. It wasn't exactly a surprise, but it still felt like a punch in the gut. I spent less time focused on the accreditation process on Tuesday morning than I would have liked. But my ability to focus had been severely compromised. During one of our breaks, one of the other team members found the posting for my new partner teacher already on the Archdiocesan website. Know any great fourth grade teachers? IB training a plus!

I got home on Wednesday afternoon. On Thursday morning I went in to find a glowing report from my sub and a taped-up piece of paper wrapped around a $10 bill with a lengthy explanation of how a picture frame got broken. Coming back from a three-day absence is never easy. I had a very large stack of papers to grade, even though I have two specialist periods back-to-back on both Mondays and Wednesdays.

I also had a ridiculous Thursday schedule. It started with a morning meeting that required another staff member to bring my students up from carpool and start their day. At lunch I had a make-up meeting with a group of fifth grade students preparing an end of PYP exhibition project. Our meetings are regularly scheduled for one of my days with back-to-back specialists, but I was out of town this week. My principal was supposed to watch my students eat their lunch, but he was in an unexpected meeting. Two other teachers graciously took turns watching my students eat their lunch, and watch Bill Nye talk about earthquakes while I tried to check in with my fifth graders. The day ended with a regional teacher leader meeting for the group that "required" me to go on the accreditation visit this year. Meanwhile, our primary recess supervisor had a family emergency and could not be at school. So, I got pulled from my lunch time meeting to have a discussion about how my grade-band would cover lunch recess. Since I was in a meeting that was supposed to last well into the recess period, and had all the aforementioned commitments in my day, I was relieved when the principal was done with his meeting on time to cover our recess.

I believe my workdays will follow a similar pattern until I have a new partner teacher. The principal told me on Thursday that he will take the other fourth grade class until we find the "right fit" for the position. He promises to do all of the grading, but I'm pretty sure I'll be on the hook for all of the planning... even though my outgoing partner teacher is teaching an entirely different set of math lessons and novel to her small groups than I am teaching to mine.

Today was the annual Archdiocesan professional development and curriculum day. It was virtual, so I didn't have to wake up early and drive to school. I did have to open my Zoom room for one of the presenters who was running his morning and afternoon sessions out of my Zoom room. Things went fine during his morning session while I ran two computers so I could attend a different session. I was distracted enough by the second, muted presentation running on a the second computer in the morning, that I decided to scrap my plans for the afternoon session and attend the one I was hosting in my Zoom. Toward the end of the second session, while the participants, including me, were in a breakout room, the presenter randomly had his host privileges revoked. I was enjoying my conversation and didn't realize how much time had passed. My phone rang with an unknown number, so I ignored it. But then my phone rang with a call from the marketing director at my school. After I answered, she passed her phone to my principal who was on his cell phone talking to someone from the Archdiocesan office, who was on another line with the presenter whose session I was hosting. Through the grapevine I was given the presenter's cell phone number to troubleshoot the issue. Once I understood what had happened, it was easy to reinstate his host privileges, but the breakout sessions ran so long he had to cut material he had planned for the end of his session. 

Going into the weekend, I still feel like I'm drowning in papers to grade, but my principal told me we do have a candidate to interview as a replacement for my partner teacher. The scheduled interview means Tuesday will shake out a lot like Thursday did. I have a Zoom scheduled for before school with the parent of a student who started at my school three weeks ago. She wants to get a better sense of routines and expectations. After school I have three meetings that all overlap with one another. Every four weeks our weekly staff meeting collides with the monthly teacher leader meeting. The staff meetings usually run until 4:00, but the teacher leader meetings begin at 3:30 and are scheduled to run until 5:30. The interview is scheduled for 4:00. Since I do need to run a breakout room at the teacher leader meeting and have been asked to pitch my college roommate's first book (Literally Unbelievable: Stories from an East Oakland Classroom) at the end, I foresee an overloaded brain coming my way by the time I will finally get to climb into my car and drive home. I guess I'd better rest up this weekend!

Sub Prep

Last week was Catholic Schools Week. Each day during CSW we honor a different group in our community. On Monday we celebrated parents. Tuesday was set aside to honor teachers and school staff. Wednesday was for our faith filled community and Thursday was for other supporters (alumni and donors), and Friday was student appreciation day. We also have a spirit week of sorts, with crazy hats, crazy hair, Catholic spirit wear, and a non-uniform day during the week, along with a best uniform day on the day we celebrate mass as a school community. Crazy hair used to be overwhelming for me. I have lots of hair. I should be able to do something crazy, but I already have purple and blue hair dye streaked throughout my locks.

I think I did okay. Crazy Mrs. Conrow.

My students were clearly excited for teacher and staff appreciation day this year. As soon as they learned Tuesday was the day to show their gratitude for me, I was inundated with questions. "Mrs. Conrow, what's your favorite color?" "Do you have a favorite flower?" "What kind of things do you like?" Um.... isn't it obvious? Yes. Other students answered for me. One look around my classroom informs enough about my likes for fourth graders and their families to do an amazing job of showing their thanks.

I got a "Coolest Teacher Award"

A heartfelt card that made me laugh out loud.

Genuine Parent Gratitude

Handdrawn Wonder Woman Card

This year Catholic Schools Week ended with me staying late to prep for a sub to be in for me for three days. I will be a member of an accreditation visiting team for another Catholic School in my Archdiocese on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I will be boarding a ferry tomorrow afternoon to travel to the edge of a national park to observe another school and help write a report of findings. I stayed in my classroom until nearly 6:00pm on a Friday night, writing sub plans and making copies. I spent Saturday afternoon creating a Google Slide deck to help guide my sub through three days of instruction. Admittedly the slide show is bare bones compared to what I usually put together, but I also usually only put one day together at a time. I also made many more copies for my sub than I would have made for myself.

Putting together sub plans this year was more overwhelming than I remember in past years. I know I have missed days before, to be a part of an accreditation team even. I don't remember the prep being this time consuming or mentally taxing. Is it COVID? Is it being in a relatively new grade level?  Did I used to even make slide shows for my subs? No matter the cause, prepping for a sub took on a new dimension for me this time around.

Best Class Ever

My class this year is possibly the most amazing class I have ever had. I have had great classes before but my class this year is really a cut above. The first day back after Christmas break, I have always needed to do some reteaching of my classroom expectations. This year we had a bonus snow day on the day we were supposed to return, but I made time for my expectation review lesson anyway. They didn't need it. Every classroom expectation that was set in the fall was followed by every kid as they entered the room. It was unreal. This has literally never happened in any previous year.

Twice last week I had to be away from my students for the first time since COVID closed schools in March of 2020. Both times were for Archdiocesan level meetings. On Tuesday afternoon I had my principal cover my lunch period and the student life director covered the rest of my day. Both members of my administrative team gave me glowing reports about my students.

On Friday I was away all day. A nun who used to teach full time, decades ago, was my sub. I was at the chancery building during the day and stopped back by my room on my way home to pick up the work that was turned in by my students on Friday. As I drove up, the Sister who had been in my classroom was exiting the building with my class in line behind her. They were very excited to see me. Frantic waving and smiles ensued as I rummaged around for my mask.

During carpool I read the notes from my guest teacher. She hadn't written much, but what she did write was all positive. She came in after the kids had all been picked up to tell me what a great group of kids I had. She said, "Once they understand what to do, they just do it!" That has been my experience this year as well.

As someone who has taught every grade level third through eighth over the past two decades, I am a little in awe of how great this class is.  I started my career as a young idealist and tried to hang onto that idealism as long as possible. I argued against anyone who said anything remotely like, "Kids these days..." for years. But in recent years I have been forced to recognize that kids these days have such a different environment than previous generations that they are different. But this year's group is reminding me that different is NOT bad.

I have always portrayed myself in the classroom as some version of "crazy Mrs. Conrow." In my third and fourth years of teaching after I had my firstborn, I was in my third-grade classroom until lunch, and another teacher took over for the afternoon. My partner teacher taught spelling. One week one of the words was "weird." On a homework assignment requiring students to use each spelling word in a sentence, one student wrote, "My teacher is so weird." My partner teacher was upset until I told her I regularly told them how weird I was.

Over the years this has morphed into crazy, old Mrs. Conrow with purple hair. For years after I started calling myself old, my students clearly didn't believe me. But now that I'm back down in fourth grade with students whose parents are almost universally younger than me, they are starting to agree, but with reservations borne out of the awkwardness of good manners and knowing that you aren't supposed to talk about age with old people. But I am aging, even if I dye my hair extreme colors. At least I'm having fun.