The end of the school year felt more than a little surreal this year. The gloomy, wet weather had a hand in making it feel like it was still March, even in mid-June. Before the end of the first week of the month, we had surpassed the average rainfall for the entire month. But there were other factors too. I am once again moving to a new grade level, but for once I'm staying in the same building. I am moving down the hall to take over for the middle school social studies (Individuals and Society in IB lingo) teacher who is retiring after decades. Also, I usually I like to plan some kind of break in my routine for the first week after school's out. But this year that was taken off the table by my husband leaving his job. We are both working toward the next steps in our careers.
My new role is one I've had before. Well, actually before it was eighth grade history and eighth grade language. Now it will be seventh and eighth grade history. I have incredibly mixed feelings about this move. On the one hand, I'm very excited to be working with middle schoolers again. This age group is ready for life lessons as well as academic ones. They want to know what the world outside their pre-K through eighth grade experience will be like and are hungry for tips on how to navigate it. I am looking forward to sharing the Mrs. Conrowisms I developed in my previous middle school gig with a new group of kids. I will also be teaching content that I love while staying focused on one subject area. I won't be the primary person responsible for teaching them how to be better writers, which means less hours spent grading than the previous time I taught middle school. Finally, I will be on a team with people who appear to be genuinely delighted that I am joining them. We are already collaborating on ideas for next year's musical and how to navigate the end of the school year crazy. I am looking forward to pretty much every aspect of my new position.
However, two things give me pause. First, I will miss fourth grade. The intermediate years are where I started and spent the bulk of my teaching career thus far. The kids are old enough and know enough to do a lot. But there's also still a lot of innocence and most of the students have not yet decided they need to appear to be "too cool for school." Thankfully I know from experience that I will feel fulfilled by teaching middle schoolers, making this a minor issue. The other concern I have is that I'm following someone who is a recognized expert at this grade level and content area. I believe I'm moving into the room she has occupied for 35 years. She has a wealth of knowledge and experience that I can't possibly match. I am intimidated by the idea of trying to live up to her in the kids' eyes. Thankfully I am aware that this issue is primarily in my own head. I know no one expects me to be like her - they expect me to be like me. I'm hoping that a week or so into the new role, once I've started to develop relationships with the kids, the sense of intimidation will dissipate.
I have jumped up and down (and now back up) the grade levels from 3-8 during my career, and worked at four different schools. This change keeps me in the same building and puts me in a role I have had before. Therefore, it is the least drastic change I have ever made. But as I enter the summer months, there's a certain level of background anxiety that won't go away. My husband just left his job of over a decade, without another one lined up. He's working to set up his own consultancy while continuing to look for interesting opportunities on multiple job posting sites. This is an incredibly drastic change for us. His income has traditionally paid the bills and allowed us to save money for our kids to go to college, family trips, and retirement. My income has allowed us to have "fun money" to spend on things like our plum crazy Challenger and pinball machines. Financially we are clearly fine - even though we do now have one kid in college and another who will be a senior in high school next year. But this leap of faith could very well represent the beginning of a major shift in how we live our lives.
The end of the 2021-2022 school year has been very different from others, full of new quirks. I have no idea what to expect with my husband's career by the time fall rolls around. At least I have a sense of what it will bring for mine!
